Procrastination is an Art Form

There are multiple different types of procrastinators out there –

  • “I’ll get to it.” He/she probably meant that at the exact second s/he said it, but will completely forget about it in roughly 5-10 minutes. My theory is that they subconsciously don’t want to do it and hope the magic fairies will take care of the problem, while simultaneously saying “I got distracted” because they did, in fact, let themselves get distracted rather than dealing with the problem. Lives in Total Denial that they are a procrastinator.
  • “Meh.” This one knows it has to be done, can see it has to be done and doesn’t care.  Irritating, but there is something to be said about the breathtaking honesty displayed here.
  • “Let me make a list.” This is a sneaky one – by making a list, they’re fooling you and themselves into believing that they have every intention of taking care of that little issue, but by the time they’re done with the list, it’s so huge and daunting, they feel overwhelmed and then “putter” with it. Some items may get completed, but the items they really didn’t want to do are still there, incomplete and waiting. A Sneaky Procrastinator.
  • “I would, but…” This is a very common – there’s always something else we have to get out of the way first. To be fair, laundry does need to be done, groceries purchased, doctors appointments, dance classes, scout meetings, toilets scrubbed and so on. And sometimes when those things haven’t been done they niggle at the back of our minds like an itch you can’t scratch, completely distracting us from the THING THAT MUST BE DONE, and therefore it makes sense that we get it out of the way so we can attack the THING THAT MUST BE DONE with total focus. But somehow, we never quite clear the table enough to get to the THING THAT MUST BE DONE.

Some of us procrastinate so well, we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Sometimes we’ll catch ourselves doing it, berate ourselves for doing it, and then still don’t do it because something else came up and now I feel so bad I have to get some ice cream or something before I try to do it.

Plugging your nose and just jumping will sometimes get us past this. Unless we really, really, really don’t want to do it. Then we’ll either put out a half-assed job of doing it (in which case you probably shouldn’t have done it at all) or we’ll get distracted by some other little thing that occurred in the process of doing such that at the end of the day the tools scattered about make us like quite productive, but in reality, we didn’t do a damned thing.

So here I sit.

Yup.

Got stuff to do.

Yup.

A whole list of them. I know what tools I need and where they are and I fully intend on getting to it today. Now that I’ve finished my blog post. Right after, you know, laundry. And that article on shin-splints I need to look up because my shins are dying after that attempted run today. And probably lunch. Should I wait for lunch? I’m a little snacky, now. And then I have to do that thing I promised the scoutmaster I’d do.

Yup.

.

.

.

.

.

Meh. I need something to drink.

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About kattywampusbooks

A SAHM with delusions of literacy.
This entry was posted in Humor, People, Random, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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